師匠のポスター Poster of the Master
「師匠…、これは何ですか！？」
僕がそう言ってあるポスターを突きつけると、師匠は珍しく表情を引きつらせて絶句していた。
「正太郎…、何故それを…。」
それは町内会の夏祭りを宣伝するポスターだ。驚いたことに、そのポスターに写っているのは師匠なのだ。しかも昔のビールの宣伝によくあるようなハイレグ水着を着た師匠がビールジョッキを持って！
「引っ剥がして来たんですよ！町内会の掲示板に貼ってあったから。」
「お、お前のような奴がいるから町内会長さんが困っているのだぞ！いくら貼っても盗まれると！」
「そりゃ盗みますよ！こんなエロポスターが貼ってあったら！けしからんったりゃありゃしない！ていうか、師匠！何で水着モデルなんかしてるんですか！」
僕が問い詰めると、師匠は珍しくタジタジだ。
「仕方なかったのだ…。祭りを盛り上げる為にいいポスターにしたいと町内会長が…。皆からどうしてもと頼まれたから、先代の葬儀の恩もあるので仕方なく…。」
師匠は指先を弄りながらあらぬ方へ視線を泳がせてゴニョゴニョ弁明を始めた。僕はそれにピシャリと指を突きつける。
「いや、嘘ですね！大方、酔っ払って安請け合いしたんでしょ！台所にあった缶ビール1ダース、あれでしょ？あれで手を打ったんでしょ？おかしいと思ったんですよ。お財布忘れて行った筈なのに、あんなに沢山のビールを持って帰ってくるから。てか、水着の写真だけでしょうね！？調子に乗ってヌードとか撮ってないでしょうね！？」
「ダ、ダーリン以外にそんな物撮らせたことないわ、たわけが！」
「旦那さんには撮らせてるんですか！？ヌードを？！」
「な、何を言わせる！このバカ弟子ぃぃ！」
師匠は真っ赤になって追いかけてきた。
"Master..., what's this?"
When I thrust a poster at her, her expression was unusually strained and she was in a panic.
"Shotaro... why do you have that?"
It was a poster advertising the town's summer festival. To my surprise, the person on the poster was the master. She was wearing a high-legged bathing suit, just like the old beer advertisements, and she was holding a beer mug!
"It was posted on the bulletin board of the neighborhood association, and I took it off and brought it here!"
"Oh, it's people like you that have put the neighborhood association president in trouble! She said no matter how many times he put it up, it would always get stolen!"
"If there's a pornographic poster like this on the wall, it's bound to get stolen! It's nothing short of embarrassing! I mean, Master! Why are you modeling swimsuits?"
When I questioned her, she seemed unusually flustered.
"I had no choice... The head of the neighborhood association said he wanted to make a good poster to liven up the festival. Everyone asked me to do it, and I was indebted to them for the funeral of my predecessor, so I had no choice..."
Master began to play with her fingertips, swiping her gaze in the wrong direction and mumbling an excuse.
I interrupted her excuse.
"That's a lie! You got drunk and took the job anyway, didn't you? That dozen cans of beer in the kitchen was your reward, wasn't it? I thought it was strange that you forgot your wallet and went out, but you came back with so many beers. I mean, are you sure it was only swimsuit photos that were taken? You didn't get carried away and have your nudes taken or anything, did you?"
"I- I never let anyone but my darling take those pictures!"
"You mean to tell me that your husband has ever taken naked pictures of you?!"
"What do you want me to say! You stupid disciple!"
Master blushed and chased me around the room.